One of the hardest things that I've had to do in this whole fiasco is admit that I have a problem as big as my husband's problem. I would look at the things he did and think nothing I did compared to that in "wrongness". That's not entirely true. While I still maintain that what he did was more hurtful it may have been equally harmful to my own issues. Afterall, my behavior allowed him to keep doing it to me over these many years.
So I have started going to meetings for coaddicts called COSA. The jury is still out on how helpful I find them but I do hear my story coming from various people. I'm definitely not alone. COSA has 12 steps just like an addicts group does and I recently started my step 1 using a book the group recommends called "A Gentle Path Through The Twelve Steps" by Patrick Carnes. I first bought it on Kindle not realizing it's a workbook then bought two copies, one for Justin and one for me.
Now I need a sponsor and a guide or two.
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