Words of Wisdom

I'm one of those people that looks at the self-help section of the book store and says "Blah, not for me!" Who can possibly write words in a book that would apply to me? Who would read them? But, desperate for anything to help me get through this I decided to search out books on sex addiction. I think in part I had hoped to find one that my husband would read. He is now trudging through the pages of the South Beach Diet Supercharged, and I'm impressed by his dedication. If only he could do the same thing in a book that might help "fix" us. Instead, I found a book that was more for me. I was skeptical at first. I downloaded a sample on my Amazon Kindle and read the preface.

The book is called "Hope After Betrayal: Healing When Sexual Addiction Invades Your Marriage"

I don't believe there could have been a book written more about my story, about how I currently feel and have felt in the past, if I had commissioned it myself. On these pages the author, Meg Wilson, writes about how she felt when her husband disclosed the extent of his addiction to her. At first it was "just pornography" and she had found some false comfort in that as I did so many years ago. Then, she was faced with the reality that it was most definitely not "just pornography" and felt blind-sided. This is, what she refers to, the "Blackout" as that is how it feels when it occurs.

I decided to pay the $8.85 and purchase it. I have made it to chapter 3 thus far, and continue to find the words true, hope-inspiring, insightful, and in some ways comforting. This book was definitely for me. The Kindle was my husband's gift to me, but finding this book I definitely think was God's.

Is a book an answer to my problems? Absolutely not. But it is, I think, a useful tool to help me realize that this uphill battle is not just my husband's responsibility but mine as well. It reinforces what I already knew but had difficulties accepting; I need to trust God with my life, fears, hopes, dreams and in Him I will find the path to my own peace.

It has journal prompts at the end of each chapter that will get you thinking. I've been highlighting like a crazy woman all the passages I think strike home, hold truth, or inspire a thought that I may have overlooked before.

The resounding theme I've read thus far that I find most comfort in, yet also have the hardest time accepting, is: It's not my fault!

What do you struggle with the most? Asking "Why?" Thinking that if you were prettier, or more sexually available or exciting that it would not have come to this? Trusting God? If I can be any comforting ear to you at all, feel free to email me- mommyauri@gmail.com If for nothing else, to know you're not alone.